The "EX" Files: Can you be friends with your ex?

So you’re single and just like any random day, your day of running errands takes a turn and you surprisingly run into your ex… the ex who you haven’t spoken to in years.  Your eyes connect so turning away your gaze may seem rude but you also aren’t running up to them as if they are one of your old-long-lost-chum’s from elementary school. So you both politely greet each other and get past the awkward uncertainty of what to do next and engage in conversation. To your surprise, it flows quite well, there is no resentment and you feel relieved. The conversation has to break as you need to get on your way, but a part of you wishes you could continue the conversation. You both acknowledge the crackberry in one another’s hands and offer to exchange pins to “keep in touch”.

Now here’s where it gets tricky. The idea is have some common contact with one another without having continuous conversation, but as technology improves, BBM statuses can be as intense and invading as Facebook can be. As much as it’s great to have a small window of what’s going on in someone’s life, it also can be invasive when you want to share your thoughts with SOME of the people on your contacts list.

Are you ready to see the updates of your significant one’s statuses as they display their love for someone new in their life? Are you over this person entirely and actually happy that they may have found happiness, just not with you? Are you able to not judge their current situation based on the fact that it didn’t work out with between the two of you?

It can be a hard pill to swallow if one of you still has feelings for the other. Probably an even bigger pill to digest if you both have feelings but know it’s best that you stay apart. I mean, there once was a time, when you both had such chemistry and had good conversation, that you decided to commit in an intentioned-monogamous relationship so having conversation shouldn’t be so tricky. Or could it be?

Reminiscing over the good times can make you smile, laugh out loud and feel nostalgic for a few moments, but trust me, it won’t be too long until those good moments get clouded. It’s only natural for you to say to yourself “Man, what the heck changed?” as you slowly get reminded of the moments that left you with a bad taste in your mouth.

So my answer to this question is this:

No harm in trying. I’m sure many people have harmonious friendships with their exes. Not sure the depth in how close this friendship is, but if one party has more feelings than the other, it could be a challenge, or even a problem. But if both parties have moved on and are truly happy in their situation, it could turn out to be one of the genuine relationships that you’ll ever have.

Ben & Hanna from "The Secret Diary of Call Girl". Infamous for their spiralling romance which bloomed from friendship to love, than love to friendship.