No Expectations

Sometimes when we give, we may not ask for much in return but appreciation. So we say. But is that the truth? Sometimes we give, because we hope for another outcome. I found out somethings about myself most recently. I am generally a giving person. I'm a Pisces, it's in our nature.

 I tend to think of others before myself and put myself on the backburner to bend over backwards for someone I care about. I've come to realize that there's a reason why they call it "Bending Over Backwards".

Going out of your way to do something and stretching yourself to the limit of discomfort is bending over backwards. And I can only bend so much. I'm not made of elastic. I've got flesh, bones, muscles, blood surging through my veins and as much as I try to bend...it sometimes starts to hurt. I'm not a contortionist. Beneath all this flesh is a trail of emotions. I'm a woman. A nurturing, caring, thoughful woman. But I am just a woman.

I make it look easy when I go out of my way to help someone. What's worse than feeling indebted to someone who will hold thier help over your head all high and mighty? I'm not the one to do that. So instead I tend to give without asking for anything in return. But I can't help but be honest with myself and hope that someday that giving will be appreciated. Hoping that if I'm ever down and out, someone will reach out to me with the same consideration, efficiency and sincerity.

So technically, I'm not giving without expection. I'm giving because I hope that one day, that person will care and give me the same love in return. So I am at fault. You learn something new everyday.

But learning to give without having expectation, is something better practiced. When nothing is expected, than you can't be disappointed. If you feel that you are ever over-extending yourself... stop. Take some time and assess the situation and figure out if you are doing this for them or really for yourself.