50 Shades of Darkness

***WARNING - SPOILER ALERT***

So I finally got through the second book in the 50 shades trilogy. While it had many eye rolling moments for me, I also found the second novel to have some mystery which was a nice change from the uber passionate love-making in almost every chapter (I can feel my eyes rolling once more).

We start off chapter one with seeing Ana getting herself established at a new job where she has the room to grow and something she is quite passionate about. Unfortunately for her, she was hired mainly for her looks and not her skills as her boss is a complete sleazeball. She's withered away to nothing as she's so distressed about her breakup from Mr. Grey, but it's not long before Christian once again enters the series with his suave and romantic gestures which lead to the two lovebirds rekindling in a fury of passion. You would swear these two had been separated for years with the way they dramatically reunited as only the timespan of days passed them by.

The slimeball of a boss, Jack, was an addition along with two new key characters that played very important roles. The pedophile-ish Elena, and Post-Sub Leila. The intro to Elena was intriguing because she plays such an important role as to why Christian has this passion to be a Dominant. We learn of their past relationship together and their continuous friendship which makes Ana utterly disgusted and extremely jealous. In the beginning, we first meet Elena in a way that doesn't seem to be intimidating. She's aware of Christian's relationship with Ana and seems to be supportive. We later come to find out she is invasive, intrusive and oversteps her boundaries by digging her nose where it doesn't belong when it comes Ana and Christian's relationship. Than we have Leila who is painted in the most unflattering light as a previous Submissive who can't seem to get over her past fling with the incomparable Mr. Grey. She stalks and compares herself to Ana in the most creepiest of fashions. Was it just me or was anyone else afraid that they would wake up to the figure of a black silouette watching them sleep?

These two characters and the mystery behind thiers stories are what saved this book for me. The sexual escapades became quite repetitive. I could only hear about this Inner Goddess, Christian's body-wash scent and the phrase "You are mine" so many times. I also found Kate to be super nosey when she decides to corner the two lovers and confront them about the NDA that she found while snooping in Ana's bedroom. Uh...invasive much? Christian's sad tale about how he grew up was heartbreaking and also plays a part in why he is dark and why he is who he is, but even with all these revelations about his past and new characters...I found myself getting irritated with the repetition and the un-realistic depiction of what a relationship is really like. With that being said, I give this book:

50 Shades Of Grey

**May contain some spoilers**

Hmmm… there’s just something about Mr. Grey isn’t there? I have some seriously mixed feelings about this book. Maybe it’s because I’m a Pisces, which is the symbol of two fish swimming in different directions.

One little fishy is swimming around in lala land living in a fairy tale world believing that this story is so intensely romantic.  Believing that Mr. Grey is a wounded soul who just wants to love and be loved but has such a torturous past that it makes it hard to let people in. His need for Anastasia is based just solely on his deep desire to be with her and only her. To protect her, and fill every need and consume himself with her essence. What woman doesn’t want a man who looks out for her and sends her thoughtful gifts to make her life easier (macbook pro, blackberry and yes…a 2011 Audi). A man who drops what he’s doing to be at her side whenever he feels she’s doubting being with him. Thoughtful in all aspects, affectionate on many different levels and proud to introduce her to the most important people in his life, while letting them all know just how dear she is to him. Daring adventures of sky gliding, flying in a private jet and speeding in his fancy car of the day…every woman’s dream man right?

Than the other little fishy is holding up a red flag while mouthing “WARNING!!!” believing this is one crazy son of a b*tch who is not only a control freak but a pain-inflicting psychopath who has to possess every woman who enters his Red Room. Maybe these gifts he’s showering her with are just another form of control (which Ana also mentions in the book) as an attempt to keep tabs on her?  If she has laptop, there’s no excuse to not respond to his emails. He provided her with a blackberry so there’s no excuse to not respond to his texts. Heck, he even bought her a car so she is guaranteed a safe ride to his house. No way the excuse “My car broke down” could be conspired. In fact, he’s more than happy to have Taylor (his assistant –in other words, his bitch) drive down to wherever Ana may be and chauffeur her to Christian’s abode. Atta boy. Now he can really keep a watchful eye on where she is even when she’s on the way to meet him. This little fishy is also reminding me of how Christian Grey falls just short of a stalker as he follows her around while she tries to get away from him. Homegirl can’t even take a vacation and get some much needed space for herself to spend some time with her mother who lives across the ocean. Silently observing her from across the bar as she goes for drinks to catch up on some girl talk with her mom. Creepy, no?

On the other hand…what does this say about women like Ana? Women who like a man to be in control and downright possessive of them? Women who want to CHANGE a man when they met him the way he was? Christian finally gets her in his Red Room and paddles her behind to a rosey sore pulp and all she does and sit there and cry and try to hold it in. After she’s had her fill of abuse she jumps up with tears in her eyes and screams at him for inflicting pain on her when that’s what she entered the dang Red Room for! The dude has whips, handcuffs, paddles and all kinds of  “kinky-f*ckery” that is intended for pain. This wasn’t the night he was going to make love to you and feed you chocolate covered strawberries while Boys II Men plays softly in the background. Why didn’t she use the dang safe-word??!!

Due to the fact that reading novels are sometimes considered an escape to many, I can see why women would want to indulge in this sort of the fantasy. It’s a great mental adventure that can give us some hope that maybe chivalry and romance isn’t dead. One the other hand, it can also mislead a lot of women into believing that there are men out there like this. Sets an unrealistic standard of expectation if one doesn’t know how to assess what’s real life and what’s just a love story. You may find a man who’s wealthy, a man who has desire to please you, a man who lavishes you with money, a man who wants to protect you, and a man who’s a philanthropist…but the chances of finding all of that in one man is very, very low.

I was watching on CP24 on last week as the two hosts brought up a statistic that showed that women who watch a lot of romance movies have a tendency to find more faults in their partners.  *Gasp * You don’t say so???  I’m sure the same could be said for women who read their porn instead of watch through these romanticized love novels in which a gentleman pretty much LIVES only to please her.

All in all, I do find “50 Shades of Grey” to be an easy read and the author is quite descriptive which makes for great imagination in understanding character facial expressions and mannerisms. Some of the sex scenes seem a bit repetitive and overly dramatic, but overall this is an entertaining book. I’ll have more to assess once I’m done reading the second and third series in this trilogy but based on intrigue and fantasy alone…I give this book:

4 stars!!!

Fighting For Love

Dukes Up!

So last week I got into a discussion with a friend about fighting for love. We were breaking down the lyrics to Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” 90’s hit.  As much as I love that song, my thoughts on it changed in high school when I got hit with a different perspective from my Sex Ed teacher, Mrs. Blais.

Now, not sure if anyone from my Grade 10 Sex Ed class remembers how she broke down the lyrics in such an unflattering light. The once looked at passionate riffs and deep voice smooth breakdown that made all the young ladies in class see hearts in their eyes…

was now seen as a whiney stalker-ish  man who won’t seem to let go of a girl who once loved him but has decided to move on. And boy oh boy do they stress that they caaaaaan't let goooooooo!!!

It could be that my teacher has twisted the perception to her own liking but upon picking the lyrics apart, it could be interpreted as the latter quite easily. Either way, I will never view the song the same again. I now have mixed opinions of this once dearly loved slow jam.

I could also feel this way seeing as I’ve had a person I know act quite insane believing I was in love with them when there was absolutely no reason to come to this conclusion and I had to file a police report about it.

I bring this up because this is what started the convo with my friend about fighting for love. He asked if I believe in it. I told him I do believe in fighting for love, but of course there are times when you need to stop and pull back and really assess the situation for what it is. The topic of conversation came up once again when Lincoln posted a blog about Chad Ochocinco & Evelyn Lozada’s rollercoaster romance and his lame attempt to win her back by tatting her face on his shin (post violent head-but). Some people believe this is a romantic gesture. Some think it’s just plain crazy…which is what I personally believe.

Here’s the thing folks…relationships are hard. Marriages, even harder. Throw some kids in the mix and you are in for a challenging ride. But, with all that challenge there are some amazing rewards if the two parties are willing to work for it. That’s right …BOTH parties. Not one making the effort while the other sits there and takes advantage. When you have a relationship that is filled with love, great communication and support…OF COURSE fighting for a relationship is worth it when you reach a hiccup. BUT, if the course of your relationship is fighting, constant arguing and even physical/mental abuse…time to call it quits, or as my friend poetically said  “Take them gloves off”.

It takes two to fight, but once one walks away, it’s not always considered a forfeit. Sometimes that’s the defining moment when you realize you are no longer a fighter and realize your worth in becoming a champion.

You Are Accountable For Your Own Happiness

Ok, here I am once again...

In front of my laptop with my Word document open. Why is it so hard to express my thoughts sometimes? Why do I start something and have such a hard time completing the process? Who and what is stopping me from moving forward in utilizing the gifts that God has given me? Me, Myself and I.

It could have been the movie "Sparkle" that helped motivate me. The story of a girl who lived in her older sister's singing sensational shadow as a back-up singer who eventually got her time to showcase her songwriting abilities. The only thing that hid her beneath her sibling's wings was her inability to believe and share with others her gift of song.

Or maybe it was Mr. Lincoln's Anthony Blade's recent blog last week about making a pledge to take a step closer to achieving your dreams.

 http://www.thisisyourconscience.com/2012/08/tiyc-presents-the-52-week-pledge-i-challenge-you-to-get-closer-to-your-dreams/

Hmmmm ya, I'm pretty sure that helped big time.

But what I really wanted to write about today was being accountable for your own happiness. It's a concept that I can honestly say I had a hard time grasping as my whimsical hippie-esque friend had once mentioned to me in one of the darker moments of my life. Being highly peeved, agitated and irritated with people, work, love, finances, etc made it easy to pass blame. The idea that these things were making me unhappy made it easier to not have to look in the mirror and be accountable for the person standing in front of it. Now, of course, we are all allowed to be upset and frustrated. We are allowed to feel what we feel. It's how we deal with those feelings that are the tricky part.

I see it over and over again. Some people love drama. Some people love to be stressed out. Some people want to have problems to complain about. As hard as it is for some to visualize, it's very true. It's not that this person has bad luck or attracts problems. It's how they deal with their problems, which makes the difference in hindering their progress. Life wasn't created so that we could float on by without running into any challenges or collisions. Life was designed so that we could grow and turn into the best person that we could be for ourselves. How can we be that amazing person if we have never learned how to deal with adversity? It's so easy to fall back into a routine of passing blame on circumstances instead of changing the circumstances in how we deal with them.

We sometimes feel like if "IF I just had that ONE thing...I'd be happy". 

Really? 

I bet you are wrong and don’t even know it. One thing isn't going to determine your happiness alone. For example...financial freedom is one of the most common things I hear people say would make them happy. Yet, there are millionaires who commit suicide and end up feeling entirely alone. So, I say fix what is going on inside of you. If you yearn for riches...try to make due or be happy with the finances you have been blessed with. Or if there is a way to increase your wealth, do the hard work it entails in order to get that extra cash. It really could be worse. Instead of looking for what you DON'T have...look for what God has already blessed you with.

If you have a toxic friend that is draining your energy, than end that relationship.. If you are unhappy in your job, than pursue one that makes you happy. If you are unhappy in your homelife/worklife than change your environment.  When you realize that you are the only person that is stopping you from achieving your full potential of happiness, maybe than, you will realize that the first step is pointing the finger that once was directed towards others, towards yourself. Sounds too simple? Guess what? That's because it is. The hardest part is realizing that the only person blocking you in your road to happiness… is yourself.

The Grey

I love animals and love watching animal movies but this is the kind of animal movie that will leave you disturbed. There is no whale kissing, lion hugging, nor friendly bear in this film. It's about wolves. A pack of wolves to be exact. These wolves are on the hunt when a plane crush lands in their territory. While those who made it alive try to remain living, one by one they are hunted by the death-thirsty ferocious pack. This movie leaves you constantly thinking how you would handle the situation should you fall prey to this encounter.  It was non-stop suspense from beginning to end. Thoroughly enjoyed it and if you like action, suspense, and thrill of the chase adventures, you will not be disappointed.

I give this movie...

Drake Feat. Rhianna "Take Care" Video Release

FINALLY!!! My fave song from Drake's "Take Care" album has been released!!! WHOO HOO!!! I guess I was anticipating this release because the lyrics, melody and overall feel of the song had me from the first moment I heard it.

Haven't we all felt like we have met someone in our lives who we do connect with, but at the same time, we can feel their hurt and pain from their previous relationship lightly coating their soul? Heck, I know I've been the one coated and in a way, still have the layer.  In time, it fades, we learn to trust again and the fall happens once more. Soon you find yourself loving someone new, hoping to never be hurt again. But truthfully, there isn't any guarantee you will never feel the "I've loved and I've lost..." feeling once more. All you can do is love fully, have faith and believe that if not this time around...there eventually will be someone who will "Take Care" of your heart.

I really love Woodkid's direction on this video. He used scenic landscapes, differnt animals  and shadow lighting to create an effect of stillness and moving at the same time.  It's quite simple, but at the same time, it's entertaining. I also quite enjoyed Rhianna and Drakes interaction with eachother. Something about the vulnerability and strength blended from both parties really worked here. They have previously worked together on tracks such as "What's My Name?" and you can see the chemistry (even if friends) ever clearly.

Very pleased and worth the wait for me!

Enjoy and Take Care!
xoxo

Let Us Not Forget...

Swim Good...and not just on GOOD FRIDAY.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.